The Details

If you didn't catch it in my last post...I am pregnant!

Due date?

April 10th

Weeks along?

19

What we are having?

A Boy - I am glad about this because Stephen will have a playmate and we will save A LOT of money

Names?

We have one but I don't want to post it - so no one can steal it you know!

Have I been sick?

A little at the beginning, but of course feeling great now

Who is expecting the niece or nephew in April?

My sister-in-law, Rebecca and brother Aaron - due the SAME day as me!

Why wait so long to spill the beans?

I was really afraid to announce it because of what happened with my last pregnancy - if you remember, I announced it on my blog at about 15 weeks and literally the next day found out that I had a miscarriage. Also, this pregnancy was not looking so good from the start because they could see some bleeding around the baby in my first ultrasound and told me that I was at risk for another miscarriage.

Needless to say, it has been a rollercoaster of emotions for the last few months and there were many days where I felt so hopeless. I haven't been allowed to pick up Stephen since I was about 8 weeks and that has been such a challange for me and him - it is so sad having my little baby say "mommy I want to hold you!" and not be able to just scoop him up in my arms. Of course, I can sit on the couch and have him climb up on my lap, but it just isn't the same. I have been to the doctor many many times and literally thought I might go insane with worry on a few occasions. (as a side note - nothing strikes more fear in my heart than the part of the appointment when they check the baby's heart beat with the doppler - I feel sick to my stomach just thinking about it!)

I know that the Lord has been watching out for this little baby and I through out the pregnancy so far. It has been a real trial of my faith and I have learned so much about being positive even though I am still get down sometimes. I have learned that when I start to panic I stop and say a prayer and if I am receptive, the spirit comforts me and tells me that the baby is ok. I know absolutely that the Lord answers prayers because I feel that this baby still being alive and well is an absolute miracle! (as another side note, I believe that every baby born is an absolute miracle...)

Of course we are only half way through the pregnancy and I still have many concerns, but it gets a little easier every day to feel excited about this little guy and anticipate his birth. I can feel him moving which is wonderful and it helps to comfort me too.

I also have to say that I seriously have the best husband in the world. He has been such an amazing support to me throughout this experience. He has always been patient with me through all of my rational and irrational fears. He never makes me feel ridiculous for being afraid of silly things but doesn't let me get carried away with fear either. He listens to all of my worries and has been a perfect friend. He is a wonderful father to Stephen and has done all of the lifting in and out of car seats, carries Steve around when needed, even when his arm is about to break off. He has given a million baths, changed a million diapers and delt with 3 million tantrums. I don't know what I would do without him!

Now, if you have read all of this you are a very kind friend! Just consider it a hundred missed posts from the last few months.