Sundays around here have become major stress days for me. I literally dread going to church. We have been practicing for the Primary Sacrament meeting program the last few weeks and as a result I am loosing my mind.
After church last week Scott and I were chatting in the kitchen he kind of squinted at me and then leaned in close and plucked a scraggly gray eyebrow hair that was poking out of my eyebrow! How long was that there? I don’t remember seeing it before church – but there it was after church. No question what caused it. I have been breaking out worse than a teenager the last few weeks too. That just goes to show how crazy it has been.
When the children are all up on the stand it is seriously pure mayhem. I can’t believe how crazy it all is. There have been many complications including but not limited to my chorister suddenly being released a few weeks ago. I am so dreading the day of the program because it feels like impending doom.
I have a confession to make: I am a perfectionist. The older I get, the more of a perfectionist I become. This program is going to be far from perfect. That makes me CRAZY! I know some people can just take a deep breath, let it out and just say “it’s all good” but that is so hard for me to do. Also, I feel like the way the program turns out is a major reflection on ME. I know, I shouldn’t be thinking about myself, but I can’t help wondering what people will say about me when it is a total mess. After our practice today, I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling so embarrassed about how the practice went because it was so crazy.
I can’t wait until it is all over next Sunday. Everyone keeps telling me that it will all turn out in the end, that the kids will be quiet and reverent up there, and if they don’t know their parts it is a reflection on their parents, not me. Don’t worry, my attitude isn’t always this bad. It is often this bad, but not always. :)
I have great counselors who are so supportive and great Primary teachers who do their best to help things run more smoothly. I have also witnessed several small miracles as a result of the challenges I have encountered. Hopefully by this time next Sunday I wll be writing a post about how well it all turned out and how we helped the members of the ward feel the Spirit. I'll hope and pray for that.
5 comments:
I know exactly how you feel, (Honestly who would know better?) but seriously don't worry. Its primary, they are young. Kids are going to forget their lines. It wont be perfect and if you keep stressing the spirit wont be there. RELAX. You are doing perfect! The program will be perfectly imperfect.
All the parents will smile and love it.
BTW you looked beautiful today, I LOVED your boots! Plus you look really good in purple.
I can't wait to hear the program!
I was in charge of the primary program. Once. But honestly, it will be wonderful. Take a deep breath and forget about it this week :)
Oh, bless your heart. I know how you feel. That inner perfectionist can be such a pain! I am sure it will be wonderful! You are awesome.
You and my Mom should talk. She's primary chorister in her ward and she's equally as nervous. She keeps telling herself, "I've done ALL that I can...it's up to the kids now". But somehow that doesn't fully relieve her anxiousness! I don't envy you, and I know it's easy for me to say- it will be great, but really, I'm sure it will. I have yet to see a failed primary program...and they are always just cute no matter how perfect/un-perfect they are. It's nice to be on the outside looking in!
Yeah Cami, it's all over. We can relax (some) for a year. Hope yours all went well. I appreciated the comment on your blog about not stressing so much to allow the spirit to attend. It helped me with our program. And it was amazing to me how all those little cuties put on their best attitudes, behavior, voices and learned their lines overnight! I'm taking a day off tomorrow, how about you?
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