Swap Time!

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Ahhhh, that’s better…

Well, I survived!  The Primary Program went off well today.  Perfect? No.  Good?  Yes!  I was so incredibly nervous the whole morning leading up to the program.  Seriously, I don’t ever remember being that nervous for anything in my whole life.  We had sooo many extra visitors to the ward and so there were A LOT of people there.  It was ridiculous to be that nervous but I sat through the sacrament on the verge of tears, trying not to look around at all those people and reminding myself to take deep breaths.  So silly!  The anticipation was so much worse than actually going through the program.  Once the kids were up on the stand (they barely fit!) and we were chugging along I was able to relax and by the end…ahhh, all better! 

One minor bump in the road was that Primary President’s son…yeah, my son had to be bodily hauled out of the chapel by me after he spent the first five minutes sulking on the stairs and refusing to say his part (which he had memorized) or sing the songs.  After trying to talk some sense into him he started a major resistance, hence the removal.  Later, when speaking with the Stake Primary President about how our program went, she told me that she thought it was so funny when I had to haul Stephen out.  She said she could see the exact same thing happening with her boys when they were young.  She and her counselors were laughing and she said when she saw me carry him out she turned to her counselors and made the comment, “that boy is headed for the dumpster!”  I am glad she helped me to see the funny side to the incident.  It is always funnier when it isn’t your kid making the scene though.

I was so proud of the Primary kids.  They did a great job singing and they did their speaking parts so well.  The highlights were the last two songs: “I Know that My Savior Loves Me” and the children and congregation singing “I Am a Child of God.”  The children sang the descant on the third verse and it was beautiful!  The spirit was very strong and we even had a few tears from people.  It was so sweet to feel the children’s testimonies and pure spirits as they sang and spoke.  

Sundays

Sundays around here have become major stress days for me.  I literally dread going to church.  We have been practicing for the Primary Sacrament meeting program the last few weeks and as a result I am loosing my mind. 

After church last week Scott and I were chatting in the kitchen he kind of squinted at me and then leaned in close and plucked a scraggly gray eyebrow hair that was poking out of my eyebrow!  How long was that there? I don’t remember seeing it before church – but there it was after church.  No question what caused it.  I have been breaking out worse than a teenager the last few weeks too. That just goes to show how crazy it has been. 

When the children are all up on the stand it is seriously pure mayhem.  I can’t believe how crazy it all is.  There have been many complications including but not limited to my chorister suddenly being released a few weeks ago.  I am so dreading the day of the program because it feels like impending doom. 

I have a confession to make:  I am a perfectionist.  The older I get, the more of a perfectionist I become.  This program is going to be far from perfect.  That makes me CRAZY!  I know some people can just take a deep breath, let it out and just say “it’s all good” but that is so hard for me to do.  Also, I feel like the way the program turns out is a major reflection on ME.  I know, I shouldn’t be thinking about myself, but I can’t help wondering what people will say about me when it is a total mess.  After our practice today, I spent the rest of the afternoon feeling so embarrassed about how the practice went because it was so crazy.

I can’t wait until it is all over next Sunday.  Everyone keeps telling me that it will all turn out in the end, that the kids will be quiet and reverent up there, and if they don’t know their parts it is a reflection on their parents, not me.  Don’t worry, my attitude isn’t always this bad.  It is often this bad, but not always.  :)

I have great counselors who are so supportive and great Primary teachers who do their best to help things run more smoothly.  I have also witnessed several small miracles as a result of the challenges I have encountered.  Hopefully by this time next Sunday I wll be writing a post about how well it all turned out and how we helped the members of the ward feel the Spirit.  I'll hope and pray for that.